11 Ways to Say No

"No" is a complete sentence.

Sometimes it seems like the only thing we are capable of saying ‘no’ to…is saying ‘no’.  Your time is valuable. Are you investing it, or throwing it away? Every time you say yes to something you don’t want, you are saying no to what you do want. Utilize these 11 ways to say no and take back control of your schedule :

1. The “Just say” no:  Need I say more? You don’t have to either…
2. The “I wish I could” no: This doesn’t necessarily need to be true, but it will help cushion the blow
3. The “I’m sorry” no: Short and sweet and back to your day
4. The “It’s not my decision” no: You don’t always have to take the heat
5. The “Other priority” no: You don’t need to be specific, just be clear
6. The “Referral” no: Identify another resource avenue
7. The “I’m booked” no: Let your schedule take the responsibility for your decision
8. The “Overwhelmed” no: Having too much on your plate is a perfectly valid reason not to commit to yet another request
9. The “Delayed” no: Buy time to make a decision. Don’t take so long that you lead the person on
10. The “Partial” no: Select what you can do, and commit only to that. Make sure you don’t commit to an inch and end up giving a mile
11. The “Stealth” no: Return a call when you know you have a good chance of being greeted by a voicemail recording

(This list is adapted in part from Work Less, Make More—Stop Working So Hard and Create the Life You Really Want, by Jennifer White.)

Keep a tally of how many requests you get this week. What is your “no” ratio? Challenge yourself each week to improve your score until your schedule has consistent breathing room.  You need enough time left in your schedule to fit in a life!

It’s Not Personal; It’s Personality

Don’t take anything personally.

Easier said than done; I know.

I used to waste a lot of time internalizing the actions of others. The best realization I have made in my career and ultimately in my life is that I can’t control what other people do. I can only control what I do. I made an intentional and strategic choice many years ago: to try really hard to stop taking things personally.

Here’s the wake-up call: it’s not about you.

No one thinks about you more than you think about you. Stop assuming that you are the main motivator of other people's actions; you’re not. They are reacting to and dealing with their own “stuff”…not you.

The best place to start your journey of not taking things personally is to educate yourself about yourself.  Invest in learning about yourself. One way to do that is to invest in personality and style assessments. These assessments are designed to provide insight and self-awareness about your preferences and style. Do you prefer to be the life of the party, or skip the party? Do you prefer to dive into the details or do the details wear you out? Start with yourself, then encourage your colleagues to invest in learning about themselves. Improved communication is a guaranteed result.

Ready to get started? Reach out to us for more information on the assessments that would be most meaningful for you.

abby@leadershiplegacygroup.com

The 3 Elements of Communication

We communicate using words, body language and tonality.

When you are on the receiving end of a message, what element do you think provides you with the most information?

Allow me to answer a question with a question:

Have you ever asked a colleague how their day was going and they replied “fine” in a flat voice with their arms crossed?  You don’t believe them for a second!

Body language and tonality tell us way more about what is truly being communicated in a message than the words themselves. Broken down into percentages:

• Body Language accounts for 58% of a message
• Tonality accounts for 35% of a message
• Words account for 7% of a message

I was recently teaching a workshop on networking, and a participant asked if social media networking was more effective than person to person networking. My Marketing Director responded with:

“If you don’t have an actual network, you don’t have a social network.”

I couldn’t agree more. Think about it. We completely lose body language and most of tonality when we communicate via email, or on LinkedIn. 93% of our ability to communicate the nuances of our messages flies out the window. Computers are a great tool to help share information, but it is not the ideal tool to foster meaningful relationships. There is no replacement for face to face contact with your network.

Which reminds me, if you are getting ready to retire or sell your business and you have found value from my blog…you have only tapped into 7% of with The Leadership and Legacy Group has to offer. Call me at 336.458.9939 to get the next installment of 35% of what we have to offer, and schedule an in person meeting to get the final 58% of the value we could bring to planning your next phase in life.