Listen or Lose

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” - Stephen R. Covey

Ever miss what someone is saying because you are too distracted crafting your response?

We’ve all been there...

The problem is when we get stuck there.

Simply being aware of this habit will help you gain the traction you need to become a more effective listener.

We live in an increasingly noisy world.

In terms of supply and demand, there is a surplus of broadcasters and a shortage of receivers.

Don’t flood the market; cater to the need. Be a leader who listens. You will always find yourself in demand.

Not sure where you stack up?

If you’ve already forgotten what this blog is about because you’ve been drafting what you want to write in the comment section, it might be worth re-reading.

Tip: Silence is only uncomfortable if you are uncomfortable with it. Stop trying to fill the empty space in a conversation. Stay dedicated to being a receiver and you will be amazed with what you hear.

Identify Your Core Strength

At the root of it all, what is your most indispensable quality?

If this question gives you pause…don’t worry, it’s supposed to.

The most rewarding questions you can ask yourself are the ones with elusive answers. If you're willing to chase them, you are already on your way to becoming a more effective leader.

Put in the work and figure out what your most indispensable quality is.

Why?

If you know what your core strength is – the thing (or things) that come easily and naturally to you, that you can do better than most anyone else – you can develop that strength and be disciplined in using  it to achieve your goals.

Too often, we put attention on our weaknesses, trying to get just a little bit better. Instead, activate your strengths, and results will follow.

When I am working with a client, one of my early objectives is to help them capture this white rabbit. Having a guide to help you navigate down the winding path of self-awareness is pivotal.

Most people have no clue what their “it factor” is.

Simply by knowing yours, you are at a major advantage.

Ask for help. What is clear to others may not necessarily be clear to you.

If hiring a coach is not a viable option for you, get creative. Look around at your resources. Identify the people in your life that you respect, and can trust to give you open an honest feedback. Think of candid friends, colleagues and mentors.

Reach out to them. Ask for their help in identifying your core strength. Most people are happy to share what they admire about you.

Work for Your Network and it Will Work for You

Networking has the negative connotation of being a means to an end of getting someone to do something for you.

When it is used like that it loses all of its value.  Networking is not meant to be transactional, it is meant to be relational.

When you are meeting new people your authentic y matters. A “what’s in it for me” mentality sticks out like a sore thumb and will get you nowhere. Why? Nobody cares what’s in it for you. The only motive that will not backfire is to go in with

the goal of building relationships that are meaningful, sustainable, and mutually beneficial. The impact that networking

can have on your personal and professional life is tremendous… it won't come to fruition overnight. Like all relationships, these too will take time.

Three of the most effective ways to foster a strong, healthy, and influential network is to:

1. Align yourself with people who you respect and admire
2. Use your talents to help others achieve their goals
3. Use your connections to help make meaningful introductions within your network

The most important thing to do when you are building your community is to be yourself. Having the confidence to be genuine is your biggest asset.