What Happy People Know that You Don’t

Let's take a look at Tip #29 from 128 Tips to Make You a More Effective Leader:

“Anyone can choose the course of their lives, but only happy people do it.”

-  Dan Baker, PhD and Camperson Stauth from the book , What Happy People Know

Choosing the course of our lives is open to all of us, but it requires us to identify and overcome the blocks and fears holding us back.

Don’t hold yourself hostage. Conscious decisions about how to invest our time, money and talents lead to a life fully lived and enjoyed.

Identify what’s getting in your way and make a plan on how you’ll break through. Choose to be happy.

If choosing to be happy were as easy as it sounded, we would all be doing it.

Being happy is hard work!

It requires a sustainable inventory of balance and energy; two things which have become rarities in our busy lives.

Sadly, we often confuse happiness with feeling safe...

so we opt into dwelling in cages that we construct around ourselves.

As safe as these cages may seem, feeling stuck leads to restlessness.

Without rest, the balance and energy required to live happily are nonexistent.

Safety should not come at the cost of freedom.

Remember: the difference between a cage and a home is an open door.

The good news is, if we built our cages, we must also have the keys.

…they have to be lying around here somewhere.

The Burning Question

"Managers light a fire under people; leaders light a fire in people."

-Kathy Austin

You’re probably expecting me to ask whether you think you are a manager or a leader, right?

Wrong! My question to you is this:

Do you have the fire in the first place?

If you don’t, it doesn’t matter whether you see yourself as a manager or a leader because you won’t be lighting anything…from under or within.

Why?

Simple. You can’t give away what you don’t have.

Without the fire, you are neither manager nor leader….

Take a minute right now and ask yourself 3 questions:

1.) Am I excited to get up in the morning and face my workday?

2.) Am I proud to tell people what I do?

3.) Am I fulfilled by my career?

If you don’t like your responses…ask yourself a final question:

4.) Did I ever like my answers to the first three questions?

If your answer is yes…consider the wisdom of Ayala Pines:

“In order to burn out, a person needs to have been on fire at one point.”

Give yourself permission to go take a walk today and ask yourself the hard questions you’ve been avoiding.

Like stoking any fire back to life, the best place to start is to give it air and  poke at it!

Where can you stoke your fire today?

Time for a Change

As humans we are biologically and evolutionally wired to fear change, but change can be a positive thing, especially if you are not happy with your current situation. More often than not we stay put when we aren’t happy due to our need for stability. And while there is nothing wrong with stability, there is something wrong with doing something you don’t enjoy as you approach the latter part of your career. So how do you know when it is time to move on?

Being financially stable or gathering experience in order to further your career might be good reasons to keep working at a job that you don’t enjoy, but as you reach the end of your formal career, and your work stops serving your needs it may be time to move on. Here are a few signs to look for when you are rethinking your exit timing:

• Are you continuing to learn? If you are not being challenged or learning something new and useful most days, it could be time to find a new challenge or move on.
• Are you working at your optimal level? Your years of experience may afford you a lighter workload, but if you find yourself underperforming or getting distracted too easily you could be bored and ready to move on. Finding or creating something a bit more intellectually stimulating could be the answer to curing these particular blues.
• Do you feel unappreciated? Oftentimes we feel like we give and give and give but receive nothing in return. If you feel that your employees, your customers, your suppliers are not appreciative of what you provide, it’s either time to speak up or maybe you are getting jaded.
• Do you get frustrated more quickly with your executive team or key employees? Unfortunately your leaders can make or break your enjoyment. Getting past petty squabbles or a general dislike for someone can be difficult, but if your executive team members are the main stressors in your business, it could be time to move on. And there is no shame in that. Finding a meaningful and rewarding what’s next, where you fit in and feel valued is of the utmost importance. Just don’t forget to give others the benefit of the doubt.

You have the power to take charge and change your life for the better. You know when the time will be right to move on. Finding out what serves your purpose in life is extremely important, and finding an outlet for that passion is what will make you ultimately happy in both your career and your life.