Time for a Change

As humans we are biologically and evolutionally wired to fear change, but change can be a positive thing, especially if you are not happy with your current situation. More often than not we stay put when we aren’t happy due to our need for stability. And while there is nothing wrong with stability, there is something wrong with doing something you don’t enjoy as you approach the latter part of your career. So how do you know when it is time to move on?

Being financially stable or gathering experience in order to further your career might be good reasons to keep working at a job that you don’t enjoy, but as you reach the end of your formal career, and your work stops serving your needs it may be time to move on. Here are a few signs to look for when you are rethinking your exit timing:

• Are you continuing to learn? If you are not being challenged or learning something new and useful most days, it could be time to find a new challenge or move on.
• Are you working at your optimal level? Your years of experience may afford you a lighter workload, but if you find yourself underperforming or getting distracted too easily you could be bored and ready to move on. Finding or creating something a bit more intellectually stimulating could be the answer to curing these particular blues.
• Do you feel unappreciated? Oftentimes we feel like we give and give and give but receive nothing in return. If you feel that your employees, your customers, your suppliers are not appreciative of what you provide, it’s either time to speak up or maybe you are getting jaded.
• Do you get frustrated more quickly with your executive team or key employees? Unfortunately your leaders can make or break your enjoyment. Getting past petty squabbles or a general dislike for someone can be difficult, but if your executive team members are the main stressors in your business, it could be time to move on. And there is no shame in that. Finding a meaningful and rewarding what’s next, where you fit in and feel valued is of the utmost importance. Just don’t forget to give others the benefit of the doubt.

You have the power to take charge and change your life for the better. You know when the time will be right to move on. Finding out what serves your purpose in life is extremely important, and finding an outlet for that passion is what will make you ultimately happy in both your career and your life.

“What’s Next?” – Creating a Fulfilling Life After Retirement

As you get ready to ramp down from your full time business role, many start to ask the question “What’s next?” While everyone has ideas about how they would like to spend their next phase of life, the reality is that few actually know how their time will truly be spent. Generally speaking, most people want their lives to be purposeful and meaningful, and retirement is no different. Establishing a plan about the goals and aspirations you wish to reach during your golden years is a great place to start to help avoid the emotional loss most owners feel as they ramp down or exit their business. Sitting down and truly thinking of what you would like to do and what kind of an impact you want to make, is important to do well before you actually exit. Of course, our life priorities change with each life experience, and it may be hard to know exactly what we will want in the future, but creating a basic framework is important so you live the life you have dreamed of living.

According to multiple studies, most retirees are concerned first and foremost about having enough money to get them through their retirement in a joyous and comfortable nature. A study done by the Bureau of Labor, which was published by the Wall Street Journal in 2014, asked pre-retirement Boomers what their top concerns after retirement would be. Of course “having enough money” was at the top of everyone’s list, but after that came:

1. Health
2. My partner’s health
3. Will I need to work?
4. Where will I live?
5. Will I be bored?

The concerns are general, yes, but important to think about nonetheless. The second part of their survey asked what the vision of their post retired lives would look like. The top five came out to be – Joyous, Purposeful, Inspiring, Educational, and Strong. So, looking at the common concerns and aspirations, the question still begs to ask “What is next for you?”

Although most professionals look forward to retirement, the loss that comes with exiting a business can be traumatic. Careers give us a sense of self-worth and belonging in a community. Once you’ve left that ‘community’ of work, it is extremely important to continue to actively engage in some meaningful way. Without doing so, both mental and physical health may suffer. It’s easy to get stuck sleeping late and watching lots of TV. According to the Bureau of Labor survey, the most time consuming activities of the average retiree are sleeping, followed by watching TV/movies. Activities like eating, socializing, reading, cleaning, and exercising were significantly less time consuming on a daily basis. We cannot stress enough how important it is to stay active in your community, revisit or start new activities that are meaningful, and exercise.

Living a healthy, happy, and fulfilling life can be tricky at any age. If your top worry is your health, join a gym, start walking, take tennis lessons, explore different forms of exercising. If your top worry is boredom, identify your strengths and passions and network with people to find meaningful ways to contribute. If you are worried about losing your community connections, plan to travel, join a club, get together with colleagues over lunch or drinks. The possibilities for involvement and entertainment are endless! It really is just up to you to decide which would contribute to helping you feel happy, healthy, and fulfilled.

Exiting My Business Shouldn’t Stress My Marriage!

We just celebrated Valentine’s Day, a day known for candy and flowers and romantic dinners. If you’re planning to retire soon, one of the most caring and practical things you can do is to talk to your spouse about the anticipated changes you BOTH will experience when you no longer work 40 – 60 hours/week. We’re not talking about your new-found ability to take off on a Wednesday afternoon to visit with the grandchildren. We’re talking about the everyday changes to your routine. Those are the ones that have the potential to really shake up your relationship.

We think it’s going to be no big deal…sleep in a little, have some time to read the paper over a leisurely breakfast, do a few things around the house, maybe take a nap…. Well, that may sound delightful to you, but your spouse is likely still living the patterns created over years of partnership. Whether your spouse works full time, part time or not at all, his or her patterns will be shaped and influenced by the changes in yours, and if you don’t discuss them in advance, or as they are happening, you will experience tension.

Last August, my husband Jim left his position and is taking some time off to re-evaluate his career direction. This change meant that he (and we) no longer needed to awaken at 5:20am. Yippee! It also meant he would be home. All. Day. Long. I wasn’t sure I liked that.

First, I noticed a subtle (or not so subtle) nudge for a later wake up time – but I still had early meetings scheduled. Later I noticed more meandering in the morning. He took some extra time to play with our dog, eat a leisurely breakfast. I still had deadlines, commitments, schedules -- made months ago -- staring me in the face. When I worked from home, rather than the solitude I had become used to, he would sweetly stop in to say hello or check in with me about what time I’d be breaking for lunch. I found myself distracted by everything -- the music on his iPad, his conversations with our dog, the front door creaking open and shut, open and shut. Arrggghh!

While it took some time, and a lot of conversation and expectations-sharing, we worked things out. I shared my need for quiet time to focus and concentrate; he plays his ipad a little lower. He sends me a text to confirm lunch plans, and I schedule morning meetings a little later. We’ve found a new rhythm.

In Japan, there’s even a recognized condition related to the relationship changes around retirement. “Retired husband syndrome” describes a set of stress-related symptoms and depression that many Japanese women experience in anticipation of having their husbands around more in retirement. This seems to be driving a wave of late-in-life separations, known in the United States as “grey divorce”.*

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

The best approach is to foster awareness of the impact the change will have on you and to discuss each of your wants and needs. Ask your spouse what they want their life to look like in the next 3 years and tell them what you dream about. Then figure out how to make it happen.

* For more information on Grey Divorce from Greensboro, NC experts, contact us  (abby@leadershiplegacygroup.com)