Read Abby’s response to Kiplinger Magazine’s article: How to Know It’s Time To Retire? by Janet Bodnar

Kiplinger Magazine’s article: How to Know It’s Time To Retire? by Janet Bodnar

Abby's Response: 

Dear Janet,

I enjoyed your article in the February issue of Kiplingers on ‘How to Know It’s Time to Retire’. I have been working with business owners, CEOs and C-suite leaders over age 55 for the past 10 years helping them figure out how to exit their business or role well and what that next phase of life might look like. I have a wealth of interesting observations and a recommended process for these hard charging leaders.

A few tidbits from my experience that you may find interesting:

• Boomers are becoming more and more uncomfortable calling it ‘retirement’. New phrases such as ‘next chapter’, encore career (as Encore.org has coined and AARP uses) are better received.

• I have presented programming to hundreds of C-suite leaders over the past 5 years, and I ask every audience what they think are the top 3 things CEOs say they plan to do in retirement? Every audience gets it right: Spend more time with family, play a lot more golf and travel. Sometimes I get a fourth one – volunteer. The reality is that most of these leaders find they are totally bored with those choices within 6 months. At that point however, their community connections have weakened substantially making it harder for them to re-engage, they no longer have an influential role in their business and/or community, they have not yet redefined who they are and what brings meaning for them in this new phase of life. It can be a very difficult time as their identity and connections are still in the old role.

• Today’s boomer women CEOs seem to have an easier time making the transition into their next chapter, presumably because women have been juggling more roles throughout their life than men because of the more traditional gender role stereotypes of boomer women. They have been everything from stay at home moms to primary caregivers for children and for their parents, have been in and out of the workforce more, have had more traditional careers, etc… It is changing quickly though, as more women enter and advance in the workplace.

The process I use with clients rejects the notion that leaders should just take 6 months off, commit to nothing, and see what evolves. In fact I recommend starting an intentional process of discovery before retirement and ramping into it over 6 – 18 months.

If these leaders don’t struggle with disconnection, they will likely struggle with the flurry of requests that will occur when others now want to command their time and attention by slotting them into all kinds of ‘volunteer’ opportunities. They can end up inadvertently overcommitting to things that aren’t important to them or accepting a volunteer role thinking they will enjoy it only to discover it is not very satisfying. 

In our process, we direct them towards finding meaning and purpose! We focus on identifying their favorite strengths to use, uncovering their passions and defining their lifestyle priorities. We zero in on the overlap between these areas and create a narrative, a story, that explains who they are using this lens. With that in hand, they seek out people and organizations that are interesting to them with the intent of sharing their story and seeking creative perspective, ideas and opportunities that might enhance their picture of possibility. Most are amazed to see the big wide world that is out there and how they might contribute outside of their business/industry box. Each conversation begets another set of people to talk to and increased clarity on what they do and don’t want in their life right now. As the picture becomes clearer, they create a filter that they can funnel every opportunity through. They can then further explore and say yes to those that resonate and no to those that don’t. They often come to see themselves in very new and different ways because they have intentionally looked through a different lens.

I’ve guided leaders to thrive at age 68 in brand new careers, to retire at age 58 into a new way of living – such as getting in the best shape of their lives, and I’ve guided others to find a new job after a layoff at age 62. Of course every situation is different, and every leader is different, which is why the process needs to be individualized. CEOs can’t just do what their buddy George did and expect they’re going to have the same feelings of purpose and meaning.

I am excited you are writing a monthly column on your experience and sharing others experiences and advice. I look forward to reading future articles. I have taken the liberty of linking to my web site and my process diagram/description in case you might find them interesting, and if you send me a snail mail address, I’ll be glad to send you a copy of my book, Straight Talk About Planning Your Succession: A Primer For CEOs, which includes some of the statistics, trends and dynamics boomer leaders are facing. 

I look forward to your next Kiplinger’s article.

Best regards,
Abby

I Can’t Retire! I Have No Hobbies!

It’s a common refrain… and it’s misguided. Retirement is not about filling our time with hobbies that we never had time for when we were working. Though you might take some time to invest in your hobbies in retirement, the real opportunity for a healthy and productive retirement is assessing who you are now, and what will be motivating for you over the next 5 – 10 years of your life. Hobbies are ‘nice to do’s’, and you should certainly make time for them, but this stage of life offers an opportunity to invest deeply, maybe for the first time, in purpose. In meaning. In profound contribution. Not because it pays the bills, though it might. Not because you have the time, though you might. But because you feel a compelling need or desire to do these things before life passes you by.

So how do you discover or rediscover this ‘purpose’?  For most, it is a process of searching and discovery. It’s not easy, and you may benefit from the help of a coach with expertise in this area, but are a few thoughts to help you get started:  

Deep within each of us are a set of powerful strengths, a set of core values and a wide range of life and career experiences. Some of those are fundamental to who we are. They define the essence of what makes us feel empowered. Indicators of yours may show up when you totally lose track of time. When you are in flow. Now some of you are thinking that the only time you remember being in flow is when you were working and that’s why you can’t retire, for goodness sakes!  Some of you are thinking the only time you remember being in flow is when you were on vacation, so that’s what you plan to do in retirement, for goodness sakes!

Well, while your flow times may be associated with work or vacation today, if you dig a little deeper into those experiences, you’ll find a set of underlying factors that contribute to flow – for example, if flow happens at work and you are a physician, you might find that you are inspired by getting to root cause diagnosis of a patient’s perplexing medical issue, or you are inspired coaching your younger physician colleagues through a difficult conversation with a patient. Somewhere in those underlying factors is the grain of your reinvention and purpose. Does that mean you need to keep being a physician? Maybe – on a reduced schedule. OR maybe you would find other intriguing opportunities where you can use your favorite root cause analysis or coaching/calming in challenging situation skills to contribute in a meaningful way. Or maybe you would enjoy using your health care knowledge and experience to bring resources together to build a platform upon which perplexing problems can be solved.

If your flow occurs only when you are at the beach sipping a martini or bourbon, maybe you do need a little more of that in your life right now…OR maybe you are seeking more peace and spiritual direction and the beach is the place where you feel most connected. Or maybe the flow is in your ability to appreciate and discern every aspect of the flavor of your drink and your purpose might build upon those talents.

Wherever you find flow, you may also find nuggets of purpose. So it’s not about hobbies it’s all about purpose. What nuggets of purpose can you pull out of your current work or life?

Reinvent How You Live Out Who You Are

Retirement is about reinvention. Not reinventing who you are – but reinventing how you live out who you are. Reinventing your identity and aligning it in new ways with your purpose. Retirement is about putting attention on our priorities at this point in our lives. Our priorities change over time. What we were once drawn to may no longer hold the same allure for us.

We think we just need a hobby, something to occupy our time. But here’s the thing -- all the interests and hobbies in the world will not fill the hole that our identity has filled. And when that work identity is taken away and not replaced with something else that is meaningful and rewarding to you now, it leaves a gaping hole. You can fill that hole by redirecting your energy in a new and different way, defining passions and strengths for your 60+ year old self, rather than trying to rekindle interests from your 30 year old self. The challenge is to invest in the hard work of discovering a new way of experiencing meaning and purpose. This often requires you to explore a deeper level of self-awareness, a look at your strengths and passions with a new lens.

For example, if we were once drawn towards building and owning a regional $50MM company, today we may be proud and satisfied with retiring and selling a single location $20MM business. The commitment required to take the business to the next level may not be where we want to put our energy now.

And things that still hold allure may now play out differently. How we are drawn to it may have changed. For example, if we always wanted to run a multi-location entity, we may be inclined to open the locations as a means to offer our adult children or key employees a proving ground and a semi-independent management opportunity.

Reinventing simply means you are shifting your priorities and finding new ways of living out what matters most to you now.

It’s time to invest in yourself.